06 August 2007

A Chore

Mom wants to know that she has bred a brood of toilet cleaners. She believes bleach brings you closer to the heavens — after all, cleanliness is next to godliness.
I scrub mean. Like on cellulite toward the heart. Quick circular motions as if I were Nancy Kerrigan, only 17, on the first sign of lakes freezing over. With boys watching faces ruddy from cold.
Round and round, like wheels of the early morning bus I manage to catch, instead of the six dollar cab.
I save much.
Mother's wrinkles, and my reputation as not-so-good-for-nothing.
Because, you see, toilet cleaning calls your character into question.
The highest tile unscrupulously cleaned is a testament to your unwavering determination. And the fact that you're scrubbing, instead of surfing, is evidence that procrastination was murdered single-handedly.
Although what actually died a bloody death, was a cockroach that couldn't brush dodge very well.
Die! Die! Die! What joy!
(Death too, is part of godliness you see.) Goodbye, scrambling dirtball. Your funeral has made my proud mommy smile.


Shaz said...

This is a lot like this Smashing Pumpkins song I used to know. It used to go:

"Emptiness is loneliness and loneliness is cleanliness
and cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me."

workawhorlic said...

Those lyrics do not make sense! And who said you could blaspheme on my blog! ;P
Don't you remember that saying when we were kids?

Shaz said...

LOLOLOL I was just quoting the Smashing Pumpkins, Jo. =) And the last time I checked, we said a lot of crap when we were kids. ;)

Shaz said...

Eh. Update la. ;)