14 June 2005

CableVision

I've been telling myself (besides reminding myself to stop talking to myself), that I should Get Out More. So last week, I did. I stepped out of my bedroom, into the living room.

That's where I found Cable, awaiting.

Alicia Silverstone was newly single and getting picked up by sizzling men at pubs, and hooking them up with her friends. At the end of the show, she got back together with her ex. Wimp!

Then came Frasier. Dad, hobbling just fine with his walking stick, was busy dating two chicks at once. He was actually savvy enough to give each babe a different ring tone so he'd know immediately who was calling. Didn't work. He got dumped, on the double.

I was so tickled, it didn't matter how far-fetched this all was.

No, let met rephrase. TV is great precisely because it is utter_and_complete balderdash. If it were realistic, I'd be watching endless takes of a chubby asian girl hanging out in her room (and occasionally stepping out to watch cable).

Now, if you've read enough books on success, you'd have noticed that most of them say more or less the same thing: "To reach your ultimate goal, visualise it first."

I look into my mind's eye and see myself yellow and gray and cackling over a re-run of Friends. And feel successful already.

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